J's Musings

I sit at the driver’s seat, un bothered by what is going on around me. The traffic can hardly distract me from the music I took hours choosing last night for my trip. The song ‘heather’ plays as I whisper scream along to the lyrics.

I stare out of the window, only to spot a few woman talking and giggling like little girls. They look like they wouldn’t mind selling all they owned to go back to their youth. But I could assure you, they didn’t need to, for they still had it in their hearts and it burned like a fire. A fire I could spot from 30 feet away. I look away from their hypnotizing smiles, and see a man; about in his mid-30’s. He is screaming and trying to get his son to come back; the loudness of his voice feels like an attempt to cover of the lack of happiness and drabness in it. I see as the child comes back giggling all happy, full of joy. The man smiles a warm smile, but quickly the warmth fades away; just like the child’s. Who, I believe, sees his future in his dad; afraid of having to live like that someday. Unlike the women, this man has lost his youth while still living in it.

I snatch my eyes away from their direction and look at the truck in front of me; there is no moving any time soon. So, I sip on the overly carbonated soda I picked up on my way; the fizziness makes me all giddy and gassy. It’s the sweetness of the orange flavour that distracts me truly. I remember myself as a child, when I used both my hands to hold the Fanta bottle and sip from thin blue straws while coming home from school. Or when I ran around outside with my friends in blue shorts and yellow t shirts; while my mother brought out soft drinks and snacks. The sweet feeling of soda and orange coats my tongue, but more than an after taste it feels like a ghost from my childhood, a sweet reminder of how I left it behind. Despite which everything from it stayed; people, things and even tastes. ‘ To all the things that stay; from memories that fade’ I mutter and raise my drink. I place one hand on the steering wheel and munch on the fries that accompany me on my solace filled journey.

The music still plays, but it feels softer now; like the soundtrack of a movie. Playing in the background as the MC goes over their little day. The lyrics hardwired into my brain continue to play as I press on accelerator and move away with the thoughts, I felt at a simple traffic junction in the middle of my road trip.

The steering wheel feels soft under my hand, almost liquid. The way something feels when you are used it touching your skin; like clothes, almost non-existent after an hour or so. It moves smoothly, guided by my grip. The ac air feels starchy under my nose. Kind of like how cornstarch smells, it feels good though. As if someone let me take something I was familiar with on my unfamiliar journey.

Soon enough the open road mesmerizes me and I’m thoughtless again. Mouth in-sync with the song, as I drive away from one junction, on my way to another.

By,

Janhavi B.