J's Musings

I think about not posting today. Skip the routine. But I cannot do that. I will stop posting and go completely off the grid if I don’t post.

What chains bind me, are those the same chains binding you? What would we do if time didn’t exist. I would not stay up to write this and you wouldn’t hold your breath for me.

Ha. Hold your breath for me. No one does that for me. I wonder if their heart skips a beat when I start texting. Do those 3 dots morph into 3 words in their brain?

I like you…

Are you ever hoping I’ll say that. I don’t like you, no. I want to be liked. I want you to want me around. Is that too much to ask for.

To be asked for.

Don’t love me, no. Not now, not today, not in the future. We’re too young for that, it would suffocate us.

Like me, romanticize the idea of me. I want to get up to stupid stuff and text you too late. I want to keep you hanging.

I sound terrible. Who’s to say I’m not?

I just don’t think wanting to be on the other side of the table might be that bad.

The funnier part is; I don’t like you. I don’t think I like anyone as of this moment.

So, why do I want to be liked by you so bad?

Is this validation I seek. Or am I denying that I like you.

My heart hasn’t skipped a beat over anything you have ever done in quite a while. I don’t think it ever has.

I want to be liked ~

Nothing wrong with a tiny dose of validation is there?

But it’s not even validation I seek. I know I can be liked and loved. I want you to show it.

Why? Why? Why?

-Janhavi