J's Musings

By Janhavi B.  

Self-love is such a trend these days, nobody can help but follow it, after all it is good for you. Although many times what a trend starts as, and what it can lead to can be two very different things, be it a dance challenge or a song cover challenge. Just like that, self-love was all about something very different from what it is now portrayed as. Today self-love requires money, retreats, spa, and whatnot; but you have to love yourself, not pamper or spoil yourself. It’s like the difference between the strict parent that loves and the pampering parent that spoils. And if you are like I was, and have no idea where to start, try these things…

You know when someone gives you a compliment? And you reply with, ‘oh no’ or ‘your just too kind’ or ‘I don’t think so’. Stop that, accept that you look good or that your hair actually was set very well or your dress is elegant, own it and say thank you or ‘I know right? (be polite with the last one though). On the other hand, do the exact opposite with criticism, don’t pay attention when they say ‘oh you’re so fat’ or ‘your dress is terrible’ or ‘what disgusting art’, we do not wish to have our heads in the clouds, but that is no reason to be brought down by random people.

Then there are times when you are told someone really idolizes you or respects you but you don’t believe you deserve it. Stop right there, because, you deserve it, you deserve all the love and respect in this world. Accept it and know you deserve it; you are worth that love.

Sometimes you go to a shop and see a dress you love but think a million times before buying, or when you see that watch, you wanted for so long, somewhere but don’t buy it. Why not, you deserve a nice dress or a handsome watch, even if you may only wear it once.

Alas! The best of things are not always fun, for now you must see the much more trying part of self-love. Self-love cannot be all about sitting in the lap of luxury and being praised. You must stay healthy too, by eating good home-made food, exercising daily, waking up and sleeping on time and taking your vitamins. Your health also includes skincare, which does not have to be expensive, like wash your face every few hours and, use facewash only twice a day. Eat healthy and drink more water as a part of it, avoid spicy food. All of this is skincare too, oh! And don’t forget a good soapy bath…

Another thing that pops into my mind when self-love is mentioned is study, upgrading your skills and work. I know, I know, we all hate it a lot, but do it because you deserve to live well, do it because money isn’t waiting to come to you once you turn 18. But, most of all, do it for the respect and sense of independence it will bring; just think of it, no depending on anyone and always thought of in high regard.

The most integral part of self-love is, self-respect. Stand up for yourself when someone picks on you, leave the venue if you are being disrespected and don’t go among friends or family who think they can treat you however they like.

Never hurt yourself for others, even if it is the people, you love the most, never put yourself in pain by ignoring your feelings or dismissing your opinions and thoughts for them.

Lastly, always and forever remember to give yourself a break every once in a while, take a day off from school and work, meet those you love dearly. Leave behind all that saddens you and hurts you for a while. Give yourself a break, it may not be a spa retreat, but a place where you are respected, loved and appreciated, should be more than enough.

Yet again, it is time for you to leave and wait till I tell you another little writing of mine and we meet again, but this time when you leave, I hope you know that it is alright to step away from what makes you bitter and indulge in what brings you peace and joy, and that you can absolutely take all the compliments and love you get. Happy Wednesday😊.

Love,

Janhavi B.